Journey to Baby: First Six Months of Trying

In my last post I gave you the preface to our journey. Since we now have 18 months to cover, I figured I'd break it down by every six months. Let's go.

December 2012 
I stopped my birth control this month. Didn't take it at all. We also weren't really expecting much as most of what I'd read (which wasn't really that much at the time) suggested giving the body a couple months to adjust coming off of the birth control. This also gives the female some time to get used to and be able to read her own body and the changes it goes through naturally each month. 31 day cycle.

January 2013 
Similar to December. I was still trying to read my body; starting to Google a bit more and read about the actual science behind conceiving. I was definitely noticing some twinges and pulls throughout the cycle, but still wasn't exactly sure about everything that was happening. I guess we kind of winged it; we tried, but we didn't try that hard. I was hoping we'd be one of those couples that comes off BC, barely tries, and boom, there's a baby. Nothing happened. 31 day cycle.

February 2013 
No one knew we were trying at this point except for a couple close friends at work. There was one that I'd opened up to that had battled infertility in the past. In a conversation she'd mentioned ovulation predictor kits (OPKs). I looked into them, did my research. They appeared to have their benefits, so I tried them for the first time. I knew using these and being extra attentive to ovulation would be all we needed. Nothing happened. 32 day cycle.

March 2013 
I used the OPK again this month. Continued to stay in tune with my body and the changes it went through during the cycle. Another month passed - and nothing happened. This was the month that the idea of infertility began to weigh on my mind. I considered the possibility, but wasn't ready to admit it. 33 day cycle.

April 2013 
A few months had past and I was able to really start picking up on my body and cycle. I was using an OPK - I'd also read about and started to utilize basal body temperature (BBT). Timing of every thing really seemed to line up this month. Around the time of my expected period I noticed some exaggerated PMS symptoms. I especially knew something was off when I found myself crying at a group of friends cheering to friendship on the Food Network. So I decided to buy a pregnancy test.

I took my first test Friday afternoon. Initially the test appeared to be negative. I went back to look at it a little later and there appeared to be a line. I had to squint and hold it just perfectly in the light, but something was definitely there. I'd read about evap-lines on pregnancy tests, so I remained calm and decided it would be better to test when I woke up the next morning.

Tested the next morning and the faintest of faints line was there. It was faint, but no squinting or specialty lighting was needed to see it. I couldn't believe it. I was excited, but something was holding me back. I knew I should be super excited (I could see a second line!), but for whatever reason I wasn't as excited as one should be when seeing a positive pregnancy test for the first time. I tested again Sunday morning. Faint positive. Then again on Monday morning. Faint positive.

I'd done my research. I knew HCG (the pregnancy hormone) doubled every 2-3 days. I knew these lines should be getting darker. Not necessarily every morning, but definitely between testing on a Friday and and Monday - but they weren't. In the back of my mind I knew what was going on.

Monday evening I noticed an intense, sharp pain running through my lower abdomen. The first time it happened, I blew it off - but then it kept happening. It went on for about 15 minutes. I felt the pain about 8-10 times. I knew it was probably not good.

Tested again Tuesday morning. The faint line that used to be there was gone. There was nothing. The next day verified everything and a new cycle began.

Although this month didn't go as well as hoped, I still considered it the silver lining for us. It was incredibly devastating to achieve conception and then immediately lose it, but it was a great reminder that this can happen. Your bodies are able. It's just not time yet. 35 day cycle.

May 2013
It felt like starting back at square one. I continued with the OPK, logging my BBT, and I even put an app on my phone to keep up with it all (mostly because my day-planner was starting to look crazy and I would have been mortified if I'd lost it and a stranger was reading all the details of my monthly cycle - however, as I type this, I realize I'm now sharing my monthly cycles with the whole world. My point is moot).

In the upcoming month I was due for my annual physical and I'd been seeing a gynecologist since moving to Alabama. I decided I need to start seeing an OB/GYN and asked around for some recommendations (working at the hospital really had its benefits). I heard about a wonderful OB/GYN that a couple nurse practitioners loved. So I looked her up and scheduled with her for next month. Nothing happened this month. 36 day cycle. 


Unknown said...

So proud of you sharing this journey! You are so strong and I admire you for this. I'm so thankful for our new friendship.

Linley said...

Thanks, Ashley! I'm extremely grateful as well! Thank the Lord for 45 minute waits at Verizon! (:

Anonymous said...

I have had friends on both sides of the spectrum: one that got off BC and was pregnant within 2 weeks (!) of trying and another who took much longer to conceive. I think when the time is right, you'll get there. Good luck! Thanks for sharing such a huge and personal part of your life with the blogosphere.

Melanie | UnraveledThreads

Jessica said...

Hi Linley - thanks for sharing your journey so far! I just want to let you know, you are not alone! My husband and I are in middle of infertility issues (as well as contemplating the step of adoption) and it's tough, I gotta admit. Our stories seem to be very familiar, just reading through yours. I wish I had documented mine like you have. Anyway, I've been following you since the beginning of your blog so I feel like I kind of "know" you a bit (I say that lightly, as I know I don't, but I think you know what I mean.. haha).. I am looking forward to hearing more about it and sending all the positive thoughts in the world to you as you continue your journey! Much love from Canada, Jessica

Unknown said...

Thank you for being so frank with all of this! I recently stopped taking birth control myself, and while we have not started trying (still using other forms of BC), it's helpful to read about someone else's journey. I'm considering looking into the OPK! Thanks for your discussion!