I stopped my birth control this month. Didn't take it at all. We also weren't really expecting much as most of what I'd read (which wasn't really that much at the time) suggested giving the body a couple months to adjust coming off of the birth control. This also gives the female some time to get used to and be able to read her own body and the changes it goes through naturally each month. 31 day cycle.
Similar to December. I was still trying to read my body; starting to Google a bit more and read about the actual science behind conceiving. I was definitely noticing some twinges and pulls throughout the cycle, but still wasn't exactly sure about everything that was happening. I guess we kind of winged it; we tried, but we didn't try that hard. I was hoping we'd be one of those couples that comes off BC, barely tries, and boom, there's a baby. Nothing happened. 31 day cycle.
No one knew we were trying at this point except for a couple close friends at work. There was one that I'd opened up to that had battled infertility in the past. In a conversation she'd mentioned ovulation predictor kits (OPKs). I looked into them, did my research. They appeared to have their benefits, so I tried them for the first time. I knew using these and being extra attentive to ovulation would be all we needed. Nothing happened. 32 day cycle.
I used the OPK again this month. Continued to stay in tune with my body and the changes it went through during the cycle. Another month passed - and nothing happened. This was the month that the idea of infertility began to weigh on my mind. I considered the possibility, but wasn't ready to admit it. 33 day cycle.
A few months had past and I was able to really start picking up on my body and cycle. I was using an OPK - I'd also read about and started to utilize basal body temperature (BBT). Timing of every thing really seemed to line up this month. Around the time of my expected period I noticed some exaggerated PMS symptoms. I especially knew something was off when I found myself crying at a group of friends cheering to friendship on the Food Network. So I decided to buy a pregnancy test.
I took my first test Friday afternoon. Initially the test appeared to be negative. I went back to look at it a little later and there appeared to be a line. I had to squint and hold it just perfectly in the light, but something was definitely there. I'd read about evap-lines on pregnancy tests, so I remained calm and decided it would be better to test when I woke up the next morning.
Tested the next morning and the faintest of faints line was there. It was faint, but no squinting or specialty lighting was needed to see it. I couldn't believe it. I was excited, but something was holding me back. I knew I should be super excited (I could see a second line!), but for whatever reason I wasn't as excited as one should be when seeing a positive pregnancy test for the first time. I tested again Sunday morning. Faint positive. Then again on Monday morning. Faint positive.
I'd done my research. I knew HCG (the pregnancy hormone) doubled every 2-3 days. I knew these lines should be getting darker. Not necessarily every morning, but definitely between testing on a Friday and and Monday - but they weren't. In the back of my mind I knew what was going on.
Monday evening I noticed an intense, sharp pain running through my lower abdomen. The first time it happened, I blew it off - but then it kept happening. It went on for about 15 minutes. I felt the pain about 8-10 times. I knew it was probably not good.
Tested again Tuesday morning. The faint line that used to be there was gone. There was nothing. The next day verified everything and a new cycle began.
Although this month didn't go as well as hoped, I still considered it the silver lining for us. It was incredibly devastating to achieve conception and then immediately lose it, but it was a great reminder that this can happen. Your bodies are able. It's just not time yet. 35 day cycle.
It felt like starting back at square one. I continued with the OPK, logging my BBT, and I even put an app on my phone to keep up with it all (mostly because my day-planner was starting to look crazy and I would have been mortified if I'd lost it and a stranger was reading all the details of my monthly cycle - however, as I type this, I realize I'm now sharing my monthly cycles with the whole world. My point is moot).
In the upcoming month I was due for my annual physical and I'd been seeing a gynecologist since moving to Alabama. I decided I need to start seeing an OB/GYN and asked around for some recommendations (working at the hospital really had its benefits). I heard about a wonderful OB/GYN that a couple nurse practitioners loved. So I looked her up and scheduled with her for next month. Nothing happened this month. 36 day cycle.