Journey to Baby: Deciding to Start a Family


I feel like there's no better place to start with these posts than sharing a little on what happened before it even began - and really how it all began.

Before we were ever engaged or married Chris and I knew we wanted children and always imagined ourselves with a family. The only place we differ is that Chris sees us with two children and I see us with three, four, or five.

So let's really back it up. We both finished our college careers (and I call them careers because we were both in college for seven years…) in May 2010. A few months later we married, honeymooned, and moved from North Carolina to Alabama. Chris started working before our furniture even arrived and a few months later I started my first job. For the next couple of years we focused on our careers, gaining experience, and becoming successful.

During these couple of years the idea of starting a family wasn't quite on our minds yet. We enjoyed working; we enjoyed having freedom on the weekend to go out or sleep in; we enjoyed having the freedom to do whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted. We were just living life as young, professional, newlyweds.

Fast forward to late summer 2012. I was 27. It suddenly hit me that I was a couple short months away from really being in my late twenties and I felt like we needed to start considering a time in the near future to start a family. Not necessarily tomorrow or next month, but in the upcoming future… So we sat down and had a discussion. We voiced our individual concerns and reservations (his were more about actually "being ready" and mine were that I just didn't have that desire yet), but we ultimately agreed that the time was near. However, when the discussion ended, we didn't really come up with a game plan - if you will.

As summer approached its end, I began to slowly pray for a change of heart. I knew I needed a desire I didn't have yet - so I prayed. I prayed for a desire and a confidence (that we both needed) in order to make the decision to start a family.

Fast forward to November 2012. It was the end of the month and it was time for a new cycle to start. When you're cycle is like clockwork for years and all of a sudden you're late - you notice.

So there I was, several days late… I suddenly found myself battling emotions of shock, fear, and concern; I considered the reality of a late period and what that could mean. My thoughts included: NoWas this really our time. Already? How did this happen? I never miss a pill. I haven't been particularly stressed out. I definitely haven't increased my exercises. I haven't done anything that would warrant a late period…

I spent a day or two being consumed with worried and doubtful emotions.

And then all those thoughts faded and slowly started turning into: Wow, I could be pregnant. Carrying life inside me. I didn't realize how lovely this possibility actually felt. I may soon be a mother - and Chris a father. 

As each of these new thoughts entered in, it was like the baby-itch (which I'd honestly never had) slowly began to spread throughout my mind and body. The reality of a late period was no longer worrisome, it was exciting.

And just like that, everything changed. That was the day I received an answer to the prayer I'd been praying. A desire was present and there was no turning back; let's have a baby!

A couple days later my next cycle started. I didn't refill my birth control prescription. And our journey began.

1 comment:

Bethany said...

I just wanted to say that I read this, and that I keep checking back to hear more of your story. <3 hugs!