A Year Later

A lot of days, and sometimes even weeks, seem to pass by at an unimaginably slow pace. It's like crawling through deep mud with no end in sight. Then, one morning, you wake up and an entire year has passed. My mother and grandmother both warned me of this: the older you get, the faster time flies. Not a literal truth, but the true none the less. And here we are. A year later.

A year ago today we found out I was pregnant. 

It was two weeks following our second IUI. Our second IUI last year was on our fourth wedding anniversary, July 17. We conceived on our anniversary. A beautiful thing to celebrate moving forward with each passing year. We obviously didn't know it at the time, but confirmed it after the fact.

I actually took a home pregnancy test before my blood work appointment that morning at 7a.m. and it was positive. The strongest positive I'd ever seen. I knew that it was possible for the test to be a false positive since I'd given myself a hCG injection several days prior, but I also calculated the half-life of my does and determined that it was unlikely that this was a false positive. But still possible. So I was hesitant to start the celebration.

On the drive to my doctor's office I felt happy. I had that feel-good feeling that only comes around when intuitively you know something great is about to unfold. I stopped by to get my favorite coffee drink before heading over to Montgomery. I went to my doctor's office, had the blood drawn, and then went about my work day. At the time I was doing home health, so I was in my car a lot during the work day. I remember it being a beautiful, sunny day. I rolled back the sunroof and listened to K-Love a little bit louder than usual. I just felt great. I knew.

Later that afternoon, around 3:30p.m. I received a phone call. It was a Birmingham number so I knew it was my doctor's office. This was it. All I needed to be considered pregnant was a hCG higher than 25. Mine was in the 70s. You're pregnant!, she said.

I feel it is a bit of a cliche to describe that day and actually hearing the words, you're pregnant, as surreal. But it was surreal. There's no other way of describing it.

Becoming pregnant a year ago closed our chapter of infertility. Perhaps once day that chapter will be reopened. Perhaps never again. I don't know. I don't even think of that possibility yet. I can't even consider doing all of this again. But becoming pregnant a year ago opened up a new chapter as well. A chapter that - in my mind-  had nothing but positive, joyful expectations. A beautiful, flawless story to share years from now.

The one year anniversary of our pregnancy rolling around means that in the upcoming weeks and months a lot of other one year anniversaries will be rolling around. Some that will put a smile on my face and others that will elicit tears and stir up emotions I wish to forget. But this is our story and our journey. I wouldn't have chosen it for myself, but I try to never question the plans God lays out for our life.

So I choose to embrace our beautiful storm.